The thing is, I just don't know what to do anymore. This is crazy how much the more somebody means to me, the more I act stupidly. I always fear to do too much, or not enough. In the end, I turn out to sound like a bitch when I try to contain my love flood, and like a creep when I try to prove how much I care.
But I'm just a girl who tries to do her best to make/keep friends with the people who really matters, without any regard for their situation or something. I don't give a fuck about your job, your ethnicity, your social class, your level of popularity, your sexual preferences or whatever, as long as I treasure you for what you really are inside, and for all the wonderful things you bring me, these things that cannot be bought. My heart just cannot do any difference; of course, there's some people I like more than others, just like every single human being does on this planet (FYI I'm not Jesus), but if I want to be friends with you, I would always treat you the same way than anybody else, whether you're famous or not, older than me or not, stupider than me or not. I will always try to please you the same and be there for you if you are great to me, I will always tell you to shut the fuck up the same way if you piss me off, I will always tease you if I like you, no matter who you are.
But I'm just a girl who tries to do her best to make/keep friends with the people who really matters, without any regard for their situation or something. I don't give a fuck about your job, your ethnicity, your social class, your level of popularity, your sexual preferences or whatever, as long as I treasure you for what you really are inside, and for all the wonderful things you bring me, these things that cannot be bought. My heart just cannot do any difference; of course, there's some people I like more than others, just like every single human being does on this planet (FYI I'm not Jesus), but if I want to be friends with you, I would always treat you the same way than anybody else, whether you're famous or not, older than me or not, stupider than me or not. I will always try to please you the same and be there for you if you are great to me, I will always tell you to shut the fuck up the same way if you piss me off, I will always tease you if I like you, no matter who you are.
I'm just tired of all the unsaid rules. I'm so sick of 'We-don't-belong-to-the-same-world-so-we-can't-be-friends' kinds of behaviour. Why life couldn't be as easy as "I think you're cool, you think I'm cool, so let's be friends" and that's it?
You want the truth about me?
Yeah I have big flaws. Yeah I can be very extreme, and yes sometimes I just couldn't shut the fuck up; yeah I'm pretty self-centered, yes I can't always measure just how lucky I can be, yes I'm very childish, and yeah I can be quite sticky. And YES, I tend to brag about every single thing. But it's only because I have a huge lack of confidence and naively think people would care about me only if I shine.
But you know what? I'm also a nice girl.
I'm very generous and will always give you the priority over myself. I can be very jealous sometimes, but always hide it because I reckon I must not stop you living your life because of my tantrums, and I'm aware you don't belong to me. I'm a fair girl, and will always try do what's right, even in the case it doesn't please me. When I start caring about you, it's usually until the end of my life; even if at some point, I pretend I don't give a tiny rat's ass about you anymore. I'm solidary and just can't never forsake anybody in trouble, even if I swim in my own shit. I make many, many many mistakes, and there are lots of things I'm not proud of, but I never, EVER have any bad intentions when I try to get close with you. I just can't be really evil; my only goal when I try to earn your trust, is to spend as much time with you as possible. I'm the kind of girl who always gives you a second chance even if you let me down.
And sometimes you can freak out, because you think I just don't know you enough to love you that much, but most of the time, you just don't notice how much attention I pay to every single detail. I analyze every single little thing I find in you, every single thing you're not even aware of doing, because your unconscious gestures and actions teach me so much more about you than what you're willing to say or show me. And most of the time, you're not even aware of how great you are.
But I can see it.
You want the truth about me?
Yeah I have big flaws. Yeah I can be very extreme, and yes sometimes I just couldn't shut the fuck up; yeah I'm pretty self-centered, yes I can't always measure just how lucky I can be, yes I'm very childish, and yeah I can be quite sticky. And YES, I tend to brag about every single thing. But it's only because I have a huge lack of confidence and naively think people would care about me only if I shine.
But you know what? I'm also a nice girl.
I'm very generous and will always give you the priority over myself. I can be very jealous sometimes, but always hide it because I reckon I must not stop you living your life because of my tantrums, and I'm aware you don't belong to me. I'm a fair girl, and will always try do what's right, even in the case it doesn't please me. When I start caring about you, it's usually until the end of my life; even if at some point, I pretend I don't give a tiny rat's ass about you anymore. I'm solidary and just can't never forsake anybody in trouble, even if I swim in my own shit. I make many, many many mistakes, and there are lots of things I'm not proud of, but I never, EVER have any bad intentions when I try to get close with you. I just can't be really evil; my only goal when I try to earn your trust, is to spend as much time with you as possible. I'm the kind of girl who always gives you a second chance even if you let me down.
And sometimes you can freak out, because you think I just don't know you enough to love you that much, but most of the time, you just don't notice how much attention I pay to every single detail. I analyze every single little thing I find in you, every single thing you're not even aware of doing, because your unconscious gestures and actions teach me so much more about you than what you're willing to say or show me. And most of the time, you're not even aware of how great you are.
But I can see it.
[ the "you" is nobody in particular, just people I care about in general ]
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